BAKER: You can’t attend a celebration without cake appearing at some point, surrounded by fanfare and flickering candles. Have you always been so popular?
CAKE: Yes. But don’t hate me because I’m beautiful and delicious. I’ve been around since ancient times, the delicacy of pharaohs and reclining Grecians. Back in the day, I was most likely a honey-and-nut confection, a bit more breadlike than fluffy. And when all things sweet were a genuine treat, too expensive for common folk to get ahold of, I led a rarified life among royalty and fancy people. Once sugar manufacture became mechanized and efficient, I was made available to all and sundry, and now anyone at any time can be graced with my delicious presence. You’re welcome.
BAKER: What constitutes a “cake,” exactly?
CAKE: How dare you! Don’t try to pigeonhole me with such a question; I’m multi-faceted and complex! Just think about this: When you assemble a birthday cake, you layer cake with a luscious filling, and then usually you ice the whole thing. And what do you call the lovely creation you just made? That’s right: cake. So I’m an element of the whole and I’m the whole. Existential, ain’t it? And I come in many guises: cupcake, round layer cake, single-slab sheetcake. I can be made fluffy by whipping eggs into a frenzy, or springy by adding baking powder or baking soda. Some of my brethren even use natural yeast to get high and mighty. That’s right! Yeast, in cake! Sometimes I’m composed of layers of meringue instead of spongy pastry, and sometimes I’m a jewel-toned mousse. Some of my family members are gluten-free; others are chock-full of flour. Some people call me a gâteau or a torte. I am all these things—and more.
BAKER: Aren’t you a symbol of all that’s wrong with modern cuisine, an instrument destined to make our children obese and sick?
CAKE: Anything in excess is dangerous. Confine your diet to a strict regimen of kale and carrots, and you’ll be sick in no time. I’m pretty irresistible; of this I am acutely aware. I’m tasty, contain very few nutrients, and am very hard to say no to. I’d rather you save me for special occasions and even then, savor me in moderation. I hate to be thought of as “common,” so keep me special and use me with care.
BAKER: Is this a decorating book or a baking book?
CAKE: First, let me just say that every cake should be beautifully made from the inside out. When you embark on a cake journey, you should approach it with care and thoughtfulness. Remember, I’m multifaceted—a feast for all the senses—and I’m not going to let you forget it. Above all, you should strive to make me outrageously delicious. But as you go about developing my flavors and luscious textures, you must also take care to make me visually sumptuous. My purpose in life, after all, is to be eaten, and for this to happen, you must come upon me and see something on the outside that entices you. And then you’ll take a knife to me and scar me permanently . . . but that’s a story for my pastry therapist and not something we need discuss any further. The bottom line is, baking and decorating need not and should not be mutually exclusive. If you approach cake making as simply an exercise in advanced arts and crafts without paying heed to the fact that your intended audience will also be ingesting your visual masterpiece, you’ve missed the point of my existence entirely. By all means, dress me in edible haute couture, but never lose sight of the fact that it’s what’s inside that really counts.
BAKER: Is this book for the beginner?
CAKE: This book is for everyone. Some recipes are easy peasy. Some are complex. As you become more adept at the simpler techniques, you can start taking on the recipes that once intimidated you. Each chapter is devoted to a technique of making cake (me) and will begin with my most streamlined iteration. As the chapter progresses and your confidence grows, you will see how complex I can become, and then you’ll be able to mix and match as you see fit. And you can always visit me at https://www.facebook.com/bakeitlikeyoumeanit for extra help!
BAKER: So what do I need to start?
CAKE: Beautiful ingredients and a stand or hand mixer. Most people have a cake pan or two; you’ll need a few of those. But most important, you have to “bake it like you mean it.” If you’ve got the right attitude, you’ll make great cake.
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